Darkroom by Joshua Graham

Author:Joshua Graham [Graham, Joshua]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781451654776
Google: TkuK8KcWPv4C
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2012-05-01T04:00:00+00:00

54

GRACE TH’AM AI LE

Brooklyn, New York: May 7, 1975

I was reminded of the opening of a book by Charles Dickens, one of my favorite English authors among the many that Peter has introduced me to since we met:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness.

This should have been the most joyous occasion of my life. Today, before God and before man, Peter and I were joined in marriage. Nothing could have diminished the joy of this occasion except for the news that came in a whisper from Juliana, Peter’s sister, who served as my bridesmaid.

Because communication had been cut off since the Communists took over Saigon, I had no means of speaking or corresponding with any of my classmates or teachers who might still be there.

Footage of a big rally celebrating the new administration has been playing on all the television sets in department-store windows. We learned that Saigon would be renamed Ho Chi Minh City. But to me and all the other refugees here in the States, it will always be Saigon.

I determined not to let the news ruin our special day. In fact, I didn’t even mention this to Peter until the wedding was over. We spent our wedding night at the Mayflower Hotel in Manhattan, but because of our limited budget, we will not be having a honeymoon.

I do not mind it as much as a girl who grew up in America might. My head was never filled with such dreams. It is enough for me to move into our apartment overlooking the trees and ponds of Prospect Park and begin our new life together.

Brooklyn, New York: August 15, 1977

I have been so busy with English classes, working as a cashier at Woolworths, doing community work at church, and taking care of the home that the past two years seem to have flown by and vanished before I knew it.

After hearing the harrowing stories of some of the Vietnamese and Cambodian refugees I have met through the Asian American Service Center, I realize how blessed I was to have arrived in America with relative ease.

However, Mother always said, “You cannot enjoy a durian without suffering its stink.” In time, you learn to embrace it along with the sweetness of the fruit.

As for the sweetness, Peter and I had experienced the joy of expecting a child. We chose the name Philip—after Peter’s father—and became deeply involved in matters such as purchasing a crib, a carriage, and many other things that a baby needs. Peter painted Philip’s room light blue and even bought a baseball glove for him.

But around my third month, I began to experience bleeding and strange cramps. When I finally saw the doctor, it was too late. I had miscarried.

For two weeks, I shut myself in my room and cried.

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